4 years Ago

I have to always keep this in mind...ALWAYS..

Stolen

Stolen from Laura:

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Living in the mountains of Montana, a cattle ranch, seasons, and a steady beau living with me..


What is your greatest fear?
Death.


What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My “bar” isn’t set high enough on everything and it should be..


What is the trait you most deplore in others?
meanness/arrogance


On what occasion do you lie?
When I’m trying to prevent someone from knowing/finding out something negative that I KNOW will hurt them

What is your greatest extravagance?
SHOES!!!! I’ll pay $300. on a great pair of Italian shoes if they’re fabulous!


What is your current state of mind?
Anger and hurt… I don’t understand why some people play games to hurt others, including me.


What is the quality you most like in a man?
Sense of humor


What is the quality you most like in a woman?
The “lady in public and whore in the bedroom” quality


Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“Are you fucking kidding me?”


When and where were you happiest?
Sitting in front of Cup O’ Joe in July…


Who are your favorite writers?
T.S. Eliot, Ralph Waldo Emerson


Which talent would you most like to have?
Great painter


If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
That we would understand each other better and feel more empathy towards each other. Seems we always think each other’s opinions are dumb or not worthy of thought.

If you died and came back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
It would be just like “What Dreams May Come”. And I could help others realize that their life had meaning and how they effected others..


What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My butt and legs are too big…


Where would you like to live?
Mountains of Montana on a cattle ranch


What is your most treasured possession?
My fender tele, my house, my books and music (so there’s more than 1)


What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Depression


What do you most value in your friends?

Support and honesty

What are your favorite names?

?


What is it that you most dislike?
Meanness


What is your greatest regret?
That I screwed around in college and didn’t finish my music degree


How would you like to die?
In the mountains, snuggled in bed on a cold winter’s day, in my sleep


What is your motto?
“It’s all good..”

The Death of Souls

Watching as rocks pile high against the dirt,

always built on sweat and hurt.

Stone cold; the dead are laid,

Their legs crossed; how dirt is made.

Death- so high on the plain,

Earth, yes earth to which they are spread.

Some will live, many will die.

Come shadow and raise their souls into the sky.

Left to decay in the ground,

while the cold wind scatters the ashes around.

The dark; to which souls fear to tread,

for they know with the light, comes the end.

The Ship

Imagine your love is a sailing ship that is achored at your peer.

You lift the sails and man the decks to keep it steady on restless sea.

It will come to be, that a lighthouse will beckon the promise of solitary shores,

whilst you steer it clear of rock and reef.

Many sailors will admire and flock to where its moored,

each in hope that they too can come aboard.

With you it might be that you succeed and both survive the stormest sea.

The Airport Chronicles-What Again?

A couple of night’s back I was working at our sister store and was generally having a shitty night. My customer’s were crabby and confrontational, I pinched my fingers badly in a display, I was basically ready to go home and relax.


My co-worker and I were taking the escalator down to the train when I realize that I had 4 mins to catch mine. So I started to run down the left side of the escalator until I got to 2 male pilots and 1 female flight attendant. One of the pilots and the flight attendant had their bags in front of them while the other pilot was leaning sideways against the railing and his bags were in front of him, spreading across the width of the escalator.


I came up behind them and was able to get past the flight attendant and one of the pilots but the second pilot didn’t move. I asked him twice to excuse me and he just looked at me blankly. The third time I said excuse me and explained that I was going to miss my train to which he looked up at me, shrugged and said “so.” I just stared at him, and then slowly turned around to look at the other pilot (who wouldn’t look at me), the female flight attendant (who stared at me) and my co-worker, who winced. I stood there, completely stunned and absorbed what was happening. As I got closer to the ground, I jumped over the rail and ran down the stairs to just miss my train. I turned to the pilot and said “are you fucking kidding me douche bag? “ In an instant, my temper flared and I swear I temporarily lost my mind. Neither of the pilots would look at me and the flight attendant just stared, I noticed this and stared back yelling “What?!” My co-worker got off the escalator and told me the flight attendant said to her “why is she so mad isn’t that what the stairs are for”? I lost it, walked around the corner to where they were standing and yelled “are you fucking serious? That’s what the stairs are for? I’m not the one with the bags of shit, so isn’t that what the fucking elevators are for?” “Perhaps you’ve all been spending a little too much in the fucking air and not enough time down in here with us “little” people, huh”? “Maybe you get paid a bit too much to deal with us huh”? “FYI- as long as your still wearing that fucking uniform you are representing the company you work for and you treat an airport employee this way, hmmm, makes me wonder how you treat your fucking paying customers..” I let the words echo in the space for a moment and walked back to the other side of the escalator. For whatever reason, I blew a gasket, I kept yelling about what assholes they were, that I’d like to knock the crap out of the pilot, that he’d get his, that how dare he do this when I did nothing but be in the vicinity. People were asking me what was wrong, why I was yelling, but I just kept swearing, explaining how I just tried to get past him to make my train and that he was rude to me. People starting looking at me as if I’d lost my mind (by all accounts I had) and them as if they just appeared on America’s Most Wanted. They get on their train, staring at me from behind the safety of the glass. I smiled wickedly, kissed my middle finger as I flipped them off and slowly mouthed “fuck you”.


It literally took me over an hour to get out from under it and realize I should have kept my cool, gotten their names off of their badges and reported them to Delta. The problem would have been solved, like that. I lost my cool, made a complete ass out of myself and confirmed the reasons why I hate people… ~sigh~

Her Date that Turned into Mine..

I hadn’t seen my friend T in awhile so when she called me up to go out with her and the new guy she was dating I said sure. He was bringing a friend and I had no problem with that as long as the friend knew it wasn’t going to be a date. The Back Alley, at the Apple Valley bowl at 8p. I arrived to find sitting there by herself. We talked until her date, Jesse came to join us. He was about 5’9, bald, pierced, rough looking and grumpy; at first. I introduced myself to him and came off as being gruff and sterile. T was happy to see him and he mentioned to us right away that his friend blew him off and wasn’t coming. We made due, hung out and did some karaoke. T recently her hair cut and mentioned it to the both of us. I liked it and thought it was cute, Jesse expressed his reservations about it and compared her cut to mine, then said the cut reminded him of his mother’s. WHAT? That was a mistake, T started getting angry. She downed her beer and wanted me to go outside with her for a cigarette. Once outside she explained how she thought it was insulting that he said those things, she also bet that he wouldn’t notice that her beer glass was empty and if he didn’t she’d be pissed since she’d explained to him earlier that she hadn’t been paid yet, and he said he’d pay for dinner and drinks for the night.






We go back inside and he has 2 beers for himself but nothing for her. We sit there for 5 mins and still nothing, so I give her $5. to get a beer. By this time she’s pissed and really not talking to him. I suggest that she talk to him about how he hurt her feelings while I go to the bar to get a beer. I order my pint and turn around to see her leaving. I run after her asking her what happened and she’s in tears. She explains that she doesn’t want to tell him, that he should just know, especially now that he knows she’s pissed. I ask her to wait until I’m done with my beer and we’ll leave, she tells me no, and no matter what I say she tells me that she just wants to go home and doesn’t want to wait for me nor does she want me to come with her., so she leaves. I’m now pissed for being left


So I walk back to Jesse and tell him that she left us both, here, at the bar, alone, together, when we just met. We both agreed that it’s odd and uncomfortable and we assure each other that we are going to leave when we are both done with our drinks. I start to chew him out about being a knuckle dragger and how incredibly dry headed he was for saying those things to her. That needed to make s decision now he was the “bad guy”, to either break it off or call and apologize. He indicated he didn’t mean to and as we started talking and “laying it all on the table” he throws out that I’m his “dream woman”. He thinks I’m hott, he likes my personality, we have a lot in common, and I have “a fire brewing” in my soul… Umm, ok… He asks if I was attracted to him and I said yes, but as a rule I don’t date guys who have dated my friends.. This whole conversation really hurt my feelings.. The one person I’d love to have said this to me is emotionally vacant and would never.


We decide to go the bar next door and see the band. We continue to talk and he asks me out to which I again say no. Then I run to the restroom, and when I come back he makes a comment about how awesome it was that I trusted him not to put a roofy in my drink… Yeah, NOW it’s time to go. He gives me his number and he texts me all the way home, indicating that he wants to come over and spend the night. I tell him no and stop texting him.






The next day T calls me and leaves a voicemail wanting to know what happened after she left. No apology nothing, just wondering what happened after we left. So I contacted her via email and told her about what transpired and the fact that I didn’t want to speak to her for awhile since she threw me under the buss about my ass and weight. I haven’t heard a damn thing from him nor do I. From what I understand, T ripped him a new one via email and hasn’t heard from him since.